...

Your name is SIR HOMCHVERT BENNINGTON WORCESTERSHIRE III, but you prefer to go by HOMCH for short. You are a FELLA of particularly high standing, and you do FELLA related activites. These activities include, but are not limited to: illicit trafficking of ELANDS, grand theft LLAMA, ALPACA forgery, FERRET-napping, etc.

You stand before the secret entrance to a secret FELLA hideout.